6 Things I have Learned from HipHop music

Being a fitness instructor who teaches class to songs between 120-140 bpm, I hear a lot of hip-hop dance music nowadays. As I have been exposed to many more hours of hip-hop dance music than ever before in my life, I have learned a few things that I feel compelled to share with you.

  1. One wears a Speedo in order to “tan [the] cheeks”. I had no idea this is why fellows wore the tiny suits, but now that I think about it, it does make sense. I mean, how else are you going to tan that area? Still, it’s unfortunate that they have to do it where I am forced to see them.
  2. “My girl has a big ol’ booty, Your girl has a little booty”. In this scenario, the big booty is preferred. When the singer points out that your girl has a little booty, that’s not a compliment to her, as one might originally think. Please do not tell my clients this, as they are paying money to make their bootys smaller.
  3. The singer believes that you should prefer him as a suitor over his competitor because he has more money. Regardless of the fact that he is addressing a woman as a “ho” and already talking about the other women he is simultaneously entertaining, the money really will make up for all that. Girl.
  4. If you want a man to go crazy, drop it down low. I am not 100% sure how this is done, but it’s clear that it’s typically done on a dance floor. One day I should be capable of a move like this since I’ve really been working on my thigh and glute strength, right? I believe I could find examples of how in music videos.
  5. Mick Jagger is an icon of sexiness even though he looks like this:
    photo from 102.3Bob

    I know this because MULTIPLE songs refer to him as such. I never would have guessed.

  6. Personal responsibility is overrated. Many of the songs refer to waking up not know where you are, who this person is, where various articles of clothing and electronics are…NO BIG DEAL. Let’s do it again tomorrow night!! On the other hand, it sounds like if you followed one of these singers around, throughout the evening you could accumulate a good deal of expensive cast-off items that they’ll never miss.
I know there are more than just these nuggets of wisdom buried in hip-hop dance music. I’ll let you know what else I find out as the weeks go by.
What am I missing? Have you learned valuable life lessons from hip-hop dance music?

3 thoughts on “6 Things I have Learned from HipHop music

  1. Vicky says:

    HA! This was hilarious! I read the title and almost didn’t read the post, since I don’t like hip-hop. Soooo glad I kept reading. Who knew hip-hop could be so educational and enlightening!

  2. Chris says:

    Funny stuff! I’m surprised there wasn’t a mention of how Pit bull remade himself and takes pictures with a Kodak in Times Square.

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