SAHM malaise: I do not haz it

When we made the decision for me to “stay home” with the kids after having Little Lady, I read some books about being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). I’m actually reading another really amazing book right now called The Myth of the Perfect Mother by Carla Barnhill. Definitely recommend it, and will do a review soon.

In every single book about staying home, there are chapters and chapters about what to do about boredom, what to do about loneliness, how you are going to miss your coworkers, and how you can get depressed from the lack of schedule and lack of interaction… I was fully expecting this to happen when I went into this thing.

But so far, nothing like that.

What I do experience is over-commitment, having to decide how many activities we can realistically fit into one day, lack of sleep trying to get everything done, and guilt about not spending enough time with all my various mommy friends and our out-of-town families.

Admittedly, what I am is actually a WAHM (Work At Home Mom), not a SAHM. I work up to 8 hours a week at nights, during naps, and whenever I can get the kids to play quietly on their own. Danielle wrote a really good description of what a typical day for a WAHM looks like. Go ahead and go there, just come right back here… I’ll wait for you! Another great post was written by Jill at BabyRabies about when she realized she is a WAHM, not a SAHM. These ladies have so effectively written for me what I am often too overwhelmed to write.

For me, so far in my journey I have found that it is not boredom or loneliness that I encounter, but instead something that is more like jealousy of the boredom and loneliness that I thought I would have. I have a wonderful but neglected Kindle that I would desperately love to spend some time with. Oh right, and a husband too…But instead I find that most of my spare time is spent frantically trying to pack in more of my social media work, just enough blogging to get by, and a constant concern about that stupid Klout score so that one day I might make some money off this blog.

I am definitely not complaining, I am still enjoying this current phase of my life. It’s just not quite what I was lead to expect it might be! What have been your biggest surprises?

4 thoughts on “SAHM malaise: I do not haz it

  1. Ashleigh Lankford says:

    I’m not a WAHM (or not technically) but I’m with you on the no boredom or loneliness. I find myself thankful for the days we can stay home all day or have down time. I struggle with overcommitment AND with finding time for the household chores!

  2. Jill @Babyrabies says:

    WORD. Even before I was a WAHM, I overcommitted like crazy. I was always afraid of not using my time wisely, not doing enough while I was home. And I try to have days where we don’t really do anything and I’m supposed to just snuggle with and cherish my children all day, but then I feel like a bit of a failure for not taking them out or getting any work done. I’m convinced my Type A personality is to blame.

  3. Jamie says:

    I think I might throw up a post about this, too!  I had always heard that SAHMs got bored and lonely.  I know that there really are people like that, but not me!  I’m SOOO busy now and I, too, struggle with overcommitment.  I think I might have spread myself too thin this fall.  🙂

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